baby (dis)appointment

April 14, 2008

I’ll start by saying nothing is wrong.  In fact everything with the baby is going very well.  I had my monthly checkup today at the OBGYN.  We heard the heartbeat and found out that my BP is holding up well so far. So you might be wondering why I chose such a dramatic title for this post.  Here’s the reason.  This morning I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself (I have a cold) when I felt a strange sensation in my lower abdomen – a light trembling.  I didn’t really think anything of it at first but after  about five minutes I started to think it might be the baby moving around in there.  This was incredibly exciting.  As I lay there trying to determine if this was indeed the first fluttering, I was filled with complete joy.  It went on for about fifteen minutes.  When it stopped, I called Dan to tell him.  He did not answer but walked in the door seconds later.  We were both really excited.  I was also excited to tell the PA at my OBGYN about it so that she could confirm that this sensation was consistent with the baby moving.  This is where the disappointment comes in.  Her response to what I thought was awesome news was, “It could be but most people don’t feel the baby this early.”  Well, I thought, that was deflating.  Soon after this statement she found the heartbeat and rested on it for all of five seconds – also a little disappointing.  I was expecting a little more enthusiasm – even fake enthusiasm.  There was none.  I have to admit that after this appointment I was not feeling really great about my OBGYN health team.  Maybe I was being dramatic but I was really down about it for awhile after the appointment.   After a pep talk from Dan I felt a little better.  He  pointed out that they do this so many times a day it must be hard to be “up” for each appointment.  I have decided t let it go and not get in a funk about my doctor and her team.   Besides, I am completely comfortable believing that these fluttery feelings I am getting are a result of the baby letting me know things are going fine. 

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